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Kate and Vera sat at one of the little wooden tables outside the pub they regularly visited since their arrival in Great Britain. Their "tourist eyes" made every little quirk of native habit stand out to them and become a topic of discussion. A family sat opposite their table, while a number of other men, young and old, sat in the seats at tables scattered throughout the quaint courtyard lined with flower pots.
"Hey, Kate," said Vera. "Look at that little girl over there. She's having a cheese sandwich."
Kate looked at the child who nibbled at a chip, or french fry as she knew it. "What do you mean, a cheese sandwich? That's not a cheese sandwich!"
"Oh, yeah, it is," said Vera. "Let me tell you a little story about myself when I was a child. My parents took me somewhere. I don't remember where it was now, but I didn't want to go. I was quite upset. So when we went to eat lunch, I ordered a cheese sandwich. The thing of it was I hated cheese sandwiches. I ordered the worst thing I could order just to make them care. The problem was my parents didn't care that I was eating a cheese sandwich. Nobody cared I was eating a cheese sandwich and I hated cheese sandwiches."
"Oh," said Kate. "I see. That old 'look at how I'm suffering' trick. Now you'll really care."
"Yeah, that's it. Just watch that little girl. You can tell she didn't want the chips. She ordered something she didn't like just to make her parents care about something."
The little girl pouted and picked at her chips, but her parents chatted away, oblivious to her feelings.
"I've eaten cheese sandwiches myself more than a time or two as well," said Kate. "Why do we do that? We make ourselves miserable just to make someone care. It's never going to happen. I remember sleeping on an old broken down recliner when I was mad at my ex-husband. I was practically crippled in the morning. That never budged him! He didn't care. I should have just slept in the good bed when I was mad."
Vera laughed. "Yes, you definitely were eating a cheese sandwich when you slept in THAT recliner. But you know what? I've determined never to eat another cheese sandwich."
Kate looked around. "Let's see if we can see anyone else eating a cheese sandwich."
A pair of lovers sat together in the corner beside a flowering wisteria growing up the wall. Kate and Vera watched them argue. The man and woman got up and walked single file to their parked car. He started to get into the driver's seat but more heated words were spoken. She slammed her door and stomped down the street.
"Oh, get in the car!" yelled the man, but the sight of her back was her only answer.
"Another cheese sandwich," said Vera.
"Yeah, she's going to get blisters eating that cheese sandwich," said Kate. "Lady, you should have gotten into the car. That's not going to make him care."
At that moment, an old lady came limping around the corner. Her cane thumped every time her left foot hit the ground. She was no stranger to Vera and Kate, for they had seen this woman every day for the past week walking around the town on a regular route at this time of day. What surprised them is that certain times, her limp grew worse, mainly when someone looked her way.
"You know, Vera," said Kate. "I believe that woman is eating a cheese sandwich."
Vera turned in her seat to observe the woman. "You think?"
"I do. We see her walking and walking all over town like she's spiting herself. Let's follow her and see where she goes."
The woman slowed as she passed the group of people at the pub. Kate and Vera waited, then rose from their seats when she gained a polite distance for following. Several times the two women ducked into a shop when the old woman doubled back, but she kept walking and walking for no apparent reason other than to be seen doing it. Soon the woman with the unlikely pair of human bloodhounds trailing her arrived at the magnificent old cathedral in the center of town. In she went, and Vera and Kate blended in with a group of people milling about in the back. The old woman lit a candle, plopped a coin into the box, and took a seat near the aisle in the front. Vera and Kate slipped into two chairs behind her.
"What do you think we should do now?" whispered Kate.
"I wonder what would happen if someone who is eating a cheese sandwich got what it was they were eating the cheese sandwich for?" Vera stared at the back of the old woman's head. "Let's see if we can show her that we care."
The old woman gathered her purse and her cane and stepped into the aisle of the great cathedral. A tear trickled from the corner of one eye. Vera grabbed a tissue from her jeans' pocket and approached the woman.
"Ma'am, could we assist you in some way? Here, please do take this tissue."
The old woman's countenance retreated to "cheese sandwich" mode. "Certainly not! she snapped and side-stepped around Vera. She engaged her cane into the rhythm of her walk and marched right out of the cathedral.
Kate and Vera stood watching until the door closed.
"Those cheese sandwiches certainly are habit forming," said Kate.
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